illestswagsta:

I miss the feeling that you get when you’re with your significant other. That safe, warm feeling. Like you two are in your own little world where no one exists but each other.
Yeah I miss it.

(via whussguccisynah)

cassjaytuck:

I was in line for cotton candy at disneyland today and the girl in front of me asked if the blue kind was cotton candy flavored and the worker looked like she was about to cry

(via laughcentre)

kaileyjo:

is it wrong to have people on your to do list?

(via laughcentre)

thesickestjokes:

My dad was showing me his baby photo album, when we came across a few of him naked.

“Look at the size of my cock!” he laughed.

“Dad,” I replied, “Zip up your trousers and let’s look at the photos.”

(via awesomephilia)

stevenfresco:

i only go on the internet like once a day for approx 24 hours

(via awesomephilia)

• White parent lectures: Don't ever do that again *takes phone away. (5 minute lecture)
• Asian parent lectures: Are you stupid? Don't ever do that again! *compares you to other people* *goes off topic* *talking nonsense* *comes back on topic* *compares you again* *goes off topic* etc. (2 hour lecture)